


Words I Meant to Say Before You Left

by thegreatandpowerfultoaster



Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempted Ones At Least, Drinking, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, One Night Stands, Pre-Canon, catching feelings, no beta we die like...uh. Nevermind.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatandpowerfultoaster/pseuds/thegreatandpowerfultoaster
Summary: Because, no matter how this looks, she cannot be Jesse Faden. That would be...he's not sure. It can't be her, though. Faden isn't nearly this pretty, this etheral, in pictures. She doesn't smile like that.
Relationships: Casper Darling/Jesse Faden
Kudos: 11





	Words I Meant to Say Before You Left

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from 'January Hymn' by The Decemberists. Yeah! I know! I suprised myself with this one, too! I have a very large soft spot for this ship, actually.

How long has he been sitting here, drinking?

Does it matter?

Everything is more numb now, than before, and a little grainy around the edges, and for the first time in two-ish weeks he is something adjacent to cheerful. 

After all, how could he not be? He is out of the lately-so-stifling Oldest House. He is in the field for the first time in what could very well be half-a-decade, and even though th AWE reports were mistaken, he is still out.

"Someone's a happy drunk," Someone laughs like a chime, and slides into the booth next to him. "You're smiing."

"I am?" He swipes a hand over his mouth. He is. No wonder his face hurts. "Oh. Ha. I am."

They laugh again. "Can I sit here?" They ask. "This place is crowded for a Thursday night, and I just - you look familiar, I think."

Finally he gathers his strength to look up at them. Something blue blinks around her head like a halo, and her eyes smile at him just as much as her mouth does. "You look familiar, too," he blurts, the idiot that he is.

Because, no matter how this looks, she cannot be Jesse Faden. That would be...he's not sure. It can't be her, though. Faden isn't nearly this pretty, this etheral, in pictures. She doesn't smile like that. 

Okay, maybe it's time to stop drinking for the night, as pleasant and swimmy as this is. She's Dylan's sister, for God's sake! It - or, no, she isn't, because the likelihood of this whole thing is one in a million. 

"What's your name?" She says. "I'm Jesse."

Fuck. Shit.

Don't tell her. There's no reason to tell her. Just lie. Make up anything. 

"Casper. I'm Casper. Hi, Jesse."

Wow. Suddenly he's remembering why he only drinks with Trench, or recently, by himself. Because he's a sappy, idiotic drunk. That's why.

Oh. And she has her hand on his knee, and that's why she's sitting by him, if the familiar thing or the crowded thing was true to all. He's obviously a little drunk already, so likely the latter was false, but he can't take his eyes off of her long enough to check. 

He's not thinking, anymore. Not about her being Dylan's sister, or P7, or heaven forbid any of the other things making this a bad idea, the least of which being how drunk they both are.

 _'Any interaction with P7 is inadvisabe, at this point,_ ' Trench's voice echoes in his head.

Fuck that, and fuck Zachariah Trench and the stick up his ass lately.

His hand reaches and finds her hand that isn't on his knee and just hold it, and he leans in next to her ear. "Jesse," he says. "...I happen to have a five-star hotel room with a fully stocked liquor cabinet that is supposedly _much_ less busy than this bar."

"The liquor won't be necessary. But I don't think I've ever been in a five-star hotel room before."

Well, government jobs do have their perks.

It's a miracle they get that far, honestly. He's pretty sure a few of the coworker's who had come with him on this trip are going to lodge a complaint, but it's highly unlikely they'll lodge a complaint against _him_. He's drunk, not unaware of what they think about him.

And then he's pinned to the cold sheets, and she's fighting with the last half of the buttons on his shirt at the same time her lips are on his, and suddenly he feels like there's been a bucket of ice water dumped on his head And for all the wrong reasons).

He is - putting it mildly - a little bit self conscious. "Jesse, Jesse!" It is not the sexy sort of pleading. To her credit, Jesse stops immediately, and pulls back, giving him a sort of curious look. Casper takes a very deep, shaky breath. "I don't - I don't think I can do this."

And it's because he's self-conscious. 

Jesse smiles at him. "That's okay," and she doesn't sound disappointed at all. "But I am not driving back to my shitty motel room.'

"I - Well I'd very much wouldn't mind sharing, but I've got an early flight in the morning. And then checkout is at eight."

"My flight's at ten, so I'll be out before then."

"I'm sorry," he says again. "It isn't you, it's just...I don't know. I'm not a young man, anymore and it isn't like I have the time to go to the gym or anything -" 

"It's okay, I promise! Not even the most awkward one night stand I've ever had. Not even top five. Not the shortest, either." She smiles, a little softer this time, and rolls off of him to lay down properly.

He would laugh, if he felt any better about it. 

What a night - went terribly, honestly. Solid two out of five, and in because Jesse had managed to get him more bothered than he had been in what was likely a decade. 

Oh, this sort of embarrassment was long, long overdue, wasn't it? Just his luck that it was Faden. That it was Jesse, whom he decided he very much liked. Or felt obligated to, except no, no. This was definitely attraction of his own accord.

What could he say? She was a beautiful woman. And a good person, a good sister. Strong, and resilient, and a dozen things he shouldn't have known about her.

Trench was going to kill him, if he got wind of this - no, _when_ he got wind of this - and Casper was going to let him.

He stands for just long enough to turn off the light, and rolls into bed beside her. They touch at the hip, and the shoulder, and he could roll over and reach all of her, and continue what they'd started in the dark...but he can't. He wouldn't want to. It's peaceful like this. Comfortable. Not to mention safe.

"Jesse?" It's whispered out into the dark.

"Hmm?"

He's not sure she'll remember this, later. 

"I hope you find who you're looking for."


End file.
